This really just happened:

March 30, 2008 at 5:55 pm | Posted in silly pants | 3 Comments

We pulled up to the McDonald’s drive thru, and the teller said, “Welcome to Dunkin Donuts.   I mean, McDonalds.  How can I help you?”

He thinks my tractor’s sexy… for now

March 27, 2008 at 8:33 pm | Posted in Love, silly pants | 1 Comment

My friend Martin at work showed me this joke today:

After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife
One day and said, “Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a
Cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white
TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 21-year-old gal.

Now I have a $500,000.00 home, a $45,000.00 car, a nice big bed and
A plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It
Seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find
A hot 21-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again
Be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a
Sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

I know that I won’t have anything to worry about 44 years from now. Sean could never settle for watching his Red Sox/Giants on anything but High Def.

When I asked Sean if he’d leave me for a hot 21 year old in 44 years he said “No, but will you change my diapee and powder my bum?” and I had to think for a second if I’d rather be watching my shows from a cheap sofa bed.

Kevin Trump

March 21, 2008 at 12:58 am | Posted in family, silly pants | 4 Comments

That there on the left is my future father-in-law Kevin. On the right is Donald Trump. Here’s the story behind that silly sign:

While watching Celebrity Apprentice a while back, I noticed that Kevin is the spitting image of The Donald. He talks like him, has the brain and the business sense, and — aside from Trump’s bad hair — they look exactly alike.

Now this resemblance probably only shows itself if you know Kevin well, but I swear to this day I can’t watch Donald Trump on TV without stating, “Holy cow! He looks just like him!” over and over again to Sean.

I told Kevin of the resemblance during a phone conversation and I believe his reaction was “Duh!” as if everyone had noticed the similarities before and I was the last one to get the joke.

So Kevin went away on a business trip back in January. He works for the same company as Sean and did a two-week training in Minnesota (if you remember, Sean spent five weeks there back in October) and so it was our pleasure to pick him up from the airport.

I thought it would be funny to make a “The Donald” sign to bring with us to flag him down. I spent a whole day making this sign and when we got to the airport Sean and I decided that maybe it would be embarrassing for Kevin to see this sign waiting for him at the airport. We thought he might take it the wrong way or become offended, so I left the sign in the car when we picked him up.

I gave him the sign once we were in the car and he laughed a bit and took the sign with him with his luggage once we arrived at his house.

But the best thing about this sign and the whole fact that my father-in-law is Donald Trump, is that I went over to Kevin’s house tonight and that sign was still proudly displayed IN THEIR KITCHEN.

His wife Michelle says that he won’t throw it away.

And as much as I can’t say that I particularly like Donald Trump, I will say that I absolutely love my future father-in-law.

Party like you’re Irish

March 17, 2008 at 12:01 am | Posted in silly pants | 4 Comments

Happy Saint Patrick’s day!

Ahh to teach public school in the city

March 4, 2008 at 8:17 pm | Posted in silly pants | 1 Comment

My best friend Meaghan is a music teacher. She deals mainly with young kids, and you bet they say the darnedest things:

2nd: (to another student) I’m gonna bite your nuts off!

Me: you have a lunch detention. That’s disgusting and disrespectful.

Another student: and painful!

 

2nd:
miss, do you eat burritos?

 

5th: miss, what’s wrong with your hair?

 

(looking at a photograph) Miss, you got black friends?

Me: they’re from south Africa

Student: Jamaica?

 

Kinder: I went on vacation…to Waterbury!

 

Me: don’t lie down on the floor. I don’t lie down when I teach you.

5th. You can, miss, we don’t mind.

6th, in reference to graduation gowns: miss, do we have to pay for our togas?

 

1st: miss, do you speak new jersey?

 

Me: can you tell me a country that is in the middle east?

Student: Hartford?


1st: Miss, did you know one of my brothers died?

Me: he did?!?

Student: yeah.

Me: what happened?

Student: my mom killed him because he was so bad.


1st: miss, somebody threw a fart.

 

me: besides christmas, what are some other holidays that people celebrate?
3rd: harmonica?

One 1st grader to another: never date a girl with tattoos.

 

Kinder, after I had scrawled something on the blackboard: miss, you writin’ in cursaliss?

 

Me: what do we do to celebrate the new year?

2nd: take a shower? And ice skate?


During Black History Month, 1st graders wrote a list of what their dreams were.

My dream is to turn into a butterfly.

 

Miss, you cut your hair?

Me: yup. What do you think I did with it?

Student 1: threw it away!

Student 2: sold it!

Me: sold it for what?

Student 2: for money! To buy a cat!

 

1st: miss, I’m pretending I’m from japan.

 

1st: miss, I want to be a teacher right now.

 

5th, holding up a crayon: this is a shitty brown.

Hitchcock

March 1, 2008 at 9:46 pm | Posted in silly pants | Comments Off on Hitchcock

Hehe.  Sean is watching the Birds and you should see how the dogs are freaking out over the screeching of hundreds of crows.  Actually, the movie has the same effect on me. Yikes!  Don’t peck me, crow!

Silly girl

February 27, 2008 at 1:54 pm | Posted in family, silly pants | 4 Comments

So we’re sitting by the bathrooms at IKEA while Alex uses the john.  Ciara is playing on two green stools in the hallway by the ladies’ room.  An older woman scoots by her to enter the loo and Ciara, pointing to one of the green stools, loudly proclaims to the woman, “THIS IS MY PENIS!”  Ah, to be two years old.

The woman didn’t flinch, but Sean and I nearly died from laughter.

Stalker sales

February 23, 2008 at 9:47 pm | Posted in silly pants | 6 Comments

I didn't take this picture Hilarious story.

A salesman just STALKED us at Bob’s Discount Furniture. We told this man that we were “just looking” a thousand times and yet he continued to follow us ten feet behind. He followed us into the couch section, into the Pit, into the dining room area.

My favorite part of the store escapade is when Sean went to use the restroom and the creepy salesman, who resembled Ron Moody’s character Fagin from Oliver!, stood two feet away as I tried to ignore his presence. As I stood there waiting for my hubby to come out of the john, the salesman (appropriately also named Ron) began to talk to me about the closest couch to my proximity.

Seriously, dude, LEAVE ME ALONE. I didn’t acknowledge him but instead turned a half circle so that my back faced him. There is only so many times I can blatantly tell this man to go away before he gets the hint.

So Sean and I finally walked into the bedroom section to possibly look at a matching set for our room. Of course Fagin followed and walked over to one of the dressers and began to pull out the drawers to show us the quality.

“Really.” I pleaded, ” We’ve been here before, we’ve heard all about the furniture, we are just looking.”

And he rebuttled, “Let me just show you the pine in this drawer, it’s built with….”

“NO!” I lost my cool. “WE’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE AND WE ARE JUST LOOKING, but thank you.”

And we walked away again, our backs clearly stating the end of the uninvited conversation.

(My second favorite part of the store experience was when I told Sean that I liked the Missionary style furniture and he unsuccessfully dared me to ask Fagin if they sold Doggy-style bed frames as well. Leave it to that boy to find a sense of humor while I am trying my best not to punch the furniture salesman.)

We stopped off at one more couch, with no sight of the man, and began to relax for three seconds as we discussed whether or not it would fit in our house. But as soon as we got the fifth word out, Ron Asshole appeared.

“Did you know this couch can be converted to a chaise?”

And with that, Sean and I stormed out. The stubborn Irish in me loudly proclaimed that THAT MAN IS A STALKER and DON’T EXPECT US TO BUY YOUR SHIT IF YOU HARASS US IN THE PROCESS as we walked toward the door. I wasn’t talking to the man, but you can bet I said it loud enough for him to hear me.

Our sleepy Red Sox fan

February 20, 2008 at 10:39 am | Posted in Puppy, silly pants | 1 Comment

He’s dreaming of the 2007 World Series.

 

You’d better lock that up

February 11, 2008 at 7:48 pm | Posted in silly pants | 4 Comments

I took the day off from work to help Jazzy and Sam adjust, and my mother spent the day with us doing our boring daily routine: cleaning the house, going to the dog park, unpacking. She helped me make an awesome pot roast for dinner and we finally moved our bed into the master bedroom (Sean and I have been sleeping in the spare) so we’d have more room.

There is cable installed in the master bedroom so it will be nice for Sean and I to drift off to sleep to the sound of late night television rather to the humming of Sammy snoring.

Since we’ve got a new TV hooked up, I figured we’d want a remote control for it to so I stopped off at CVS to pick up a universal. The thing cost $9.99, a cheap idiot-proof universal remote. I went to grab it from the hook and realized that it was locked with one of those electronic lock things that you’d find on a seven hundred dollar digital camera.

Are you serious? Who would want to steal this stupid plastic remote?

So I walked up to the register and asked the man to unlock it for me. He walked down the aisle, I pointed to that plastic ten-dollar universal remote, and he unlocked it for me… but only after he turned to me and very seriously said, “I’m going to have to walk this up to the front register for you.”

It’s only fair…

February 5, 2008 at 6:24 pm | Posted in silly pants | 1 Comment

I’m constantly posting pictures of Sean sleeping on this blog, and today he took some doozies of me conked out in my office. I am voluntarily posting them on the internet for all to see in honor of the fact that Sean has always been such a great sport living with a blogging photographer.

These were taken after Sean and Sam woke up from a houseful of nappings.  If I had to sum up how wonderful a day off feels, well, I’d point to exhibit A and B.

I am dreading the Superbowl

January 31, 2008 at 9:48 pm | Posted in silly pants | 3 Comments

In honor of the stupid Superbowl, I’m posting the video of Sean and me watching last year’s national anthem.  One. More. Day. Of. Football.

This, I think, is cause for celebration.

Tough to spring clean ’round here

January 30, 2008 at 10:16 am | Posted in Puppy, silly pants, Video | 4 Comments

So much fun!

January 27, 2008 at 4:43 pm | Posted in family, silly pants, Video | 4 Comments

We had a fantastic time at our sleepover last night! Gavin was the perfect guest and we spent the whole time playing. Gavin took some of these pictures with the camera remote for the sleepover video:

 

 

However, having a five year old around is tiring; Sean, Sam, and I — recovering from a child-hangover — slept the whole afternoon.

 

We love you, Gavin!

Crocodile Rock

January 20, 2008 at 7:02 pm | Posted in Puppy, silly pants, Video | 5 Comments

Today has been chock full of fun things to do. Carrie and Laura came over in the morning, we celebrated Gavin’s 5th birthday party in the afternoon, and my friends Greg and Sarah are on their way over for some Sunday night football.

Until I can come up with a few hours to sort through pictures and videos, here is a video I took of Sam and I this morning as we attempted to dance to some Elton John. Sammy didn’t seem as thrilled as I was to be dancing.

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