You’ve got to be kidding me

December 10, 2007 at 10:31 am | Posted in Agitated, Home, News | 11 Comments

House closing has been moved to Friday.

I just called my realtor and ripped her a new asshole. Even though it isn’t her fault that the seller’s lawyers keep rescheduling, I wanted to make sure she knew that we weren’t messing around here, we have until the end of the month to be completely moved out of this condo.

I told her about the death of Sean’s aunt, our constant stress, the homeless doggie Oscar who is sitting in a kennel awaiting our new home, the fact that we will be homeless in about two weeks if they keep this up.

Her answer, and I quote: “Oh this is nothing… you should’ve seen how stressed I was at MY house closing.”

Bitch, do me a favor and know when to shut up for once.


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  1. I had it easy. I bought my grandmother’s house from my aunt, so there were none of these closing games being played – we just went to the lawyer’s office, waited for them to finish their breakfast meeting, and sat and signed forms for two hours.

    Then I went to the house and informed the ghosts of everyone who had died there that the house was now mine. Haven’t had a promblem with ’em since.

    Good luck and hang in there.

  2. You are too funny. Don’t sweat it. Take a deep breadth. In… Out… The positive thing is it’ll save you a few bucks. One less week on the December mortgage. It’ll all work out. Be cool…

  3. lol. it will happen! 🙂 hang in there.

  4. ouch! But let me be the one to point out that another five days isn’t fun but it’s not the end of the just feels like it.

  5. Huggggs and deepbreaths honey.. Love, me

  6. It is really hard – we had similar problems. And we bought a house, sold it, and bought a new one in another state, all in nine months. Ugh. Make sure your lawyer is on the task, too, and that your mortgage broker has all the paperwork in order. In a lot of cases that can be the issue.

    Seriously, get your lawyer to put the screws on.

  7. You poor likkle munkey!

    I will tell you a silly joke I have heard to cheer you up.

    Two silk worms were in a race, what was the result? A tie

    Why did the pony cough? because he was a little hoarse.

    Oh…that was two silly jokes, I spoilt you there!

    What about a rude joke my son told me?

    What bees do you get milk from? Boobees.

    Oh dear oh dear!

  8. Oh SH*T!

    Can you delete my comment Lauren, I was multi tasking and was taking calls, part reading your blog and had typed you the silly jokes before reading the blog further about poor Sean’s loss!

    What an A*rshole I feel now, perhaps you want to make me a second A*shole now too!

    Oh dear, talk about putting your foot in it, I am really sorry!


  9. Haha, Martin. Your humor is much appreciated as always. We’re fine here, and even if we weren’t a little boobee joke here and there is always invited. Xoxoxo.

  10. Oh boy! I am glad you saw the lighter side, just as I was about to send the second post a fax came in and cut the connection so there I was cussing at the modem screaming connect you son of a B*itch think all the time that all your blog readers are thinking what an insensitive English mother that man is!!!



  11. My mind is brimming with retorts to her “oh this is nothing” line.

    Of course, I am never quick enough, or brave enough when these situations happen in my own life.

    I did have to threaten our estate agents with us pulling out when we last moved (with a tearful Wendy on the other end of a phone). I made the threats while sat on a railway station bench about 300 miles from home while working on site. Life always seems to happen like that.

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