Reasons I cannot be considered a lady:

April 12, 2007 at 4:18 pm | Posted in Photographs, silly pants, Society | 17 Comments

In no particular order:

  1. I have sailor mouth
  2. I smoke (gross) and usually spit when I smoke (equally gross)
  3. I own one thong and it is the pair of underwear I wear on laundry day
  4. I can give myself a French manicure, but it doesn’t last one day without getting dirtied in wall paint
  5. I can belch the alphabet
  6. I own one pair of heels and they are in a Tupperware container in our garage
  7. My idea of dressing up to go to out is throwing on jeans and an “I heart John Deere” shirt
  8. I follow the 5-second rule unless the floor hasn’t been washed in, say, at least a year
  9. I use Sean’s Irish Spring body wash and sometimes his deodorant
  10. I’ve let my boyfriend cut my hair

So what are you? In comments, three things that make you or break you as a lady.  Men are free to comment on their ladyhood as well.


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  1. Hmmm. I used to swear a lot (before kids) and also smoke (again, before kids) but I don’t do either any longer. I never wear heels because I broke my toe once and messed up my foot. Most of the time I don’t wear makeup except maybe lipgloss, my daily wardrobe consists of jeans and a tshirt, and my husband cuts my hair. I always paint my toenails but I pick the living life out of my fingernails.

    But I’m still a girlie-girl, though maybe not a lady. But I’m ok with that. 😉

  2. You broke your toe wearing heels? Oh my god! That had to suck. Good point: one can be girlie-girl but maybe not a lady.

  3. Wait a sec, thongs are required to be considered a lady?? Man, I’m screwed….


    My roommate actually suffered a stress fracture as a result of the combination of strenuous yoga, running, and…high heels. Hooray for sneakers!!!!!!!

  4. Oh whoops, I totally didn’t read the directions there. Um. That may not make me a lady either.

    So. 1) Hate thongs. 2) Belch loudly enough to make an entire apartment complex echo. 3) Zero makeup, unless in the event of something special (anniversary, banquet, etc.) That goes for nail polish too. 4) I believe in the comfort of jeans and sneakers whenever possible, and will do my best to make it happen as “business casual attire”. 🙂

  5. Being a lady is overrated anyway. You still make an awfully cute girl though.

  6. 1- I have a salior mouth.
    2- I love love love sports, (which doesn’t really make me less of a lady, but it’s how I ACT at sporting events that does).
    3- I love ending phrases with the word “bitch”. Randomly.
    4- Burping is an art form.
    5- I hate thongs and I think they’re trashy.
    6- I don’t wear make up.


  7. Haha, you guys are great.

  8. I’m no lady but i guess I’m kinda girlie sometimes…

    1. I love shoes without heels…the only pair I love with high heels is boots (worn when it rains…hehe)
    2. Thongs are only worn when u wanna show it to someone (read: u won’t wear it long anyways)
    3. My husband says I burp like a wailing cow and it echoes in the house
    4. Hardly no makeup…i only wear lip gloss and eyeliner…never owned a blush, concealer, foundation
    5. Love wearing T shirts…my favorite one is black that says “Barbie is a slut”

    I guess I’m girlie ‘coz I like having manicures, I like skirts and I like having my hair pampered in the salon…

  9. LOL Joi. “Barbie is a slut”. That is the best slogan I have ever heard. Too bad we didn’t think of it first.

  10. I still swear like a trucker and my boyfried (now husband) once gave me a haircut when we were drunk. I would let him do it again in a second. It was the straightest trim anyone had ever done and it stayed straight as it grew in. (He is NOT a stylist by the way).

    That’s not unwomanly, it’s just adventurous.

  11. Oooh, that makes us adventurous and unladylike. Love it.

  12. I did NOT break my toe wearing heels…I broke it vacuuming (sp?) when I accidently kicked a chair. I jammed my big toe and it never healed right…so how’s that for lady-like? ha ha At least I’m damn good with the vacuum.

  13. Hey that’s called vacuuming with style.

  14. Laur, Ye got the belching from me lolllll.. Love.A.Sanny

  15. Old MacDonald had a burp….

  16. crap.
    i must be a lady.
    aside from swearing like a MoFo, i don’t fit in any of the other “not-ladylike” catagories.

  17. I don’t have time for women who have wardrobe’s full of shoes, and take an hour to leave the house because of putting on their warpaint.

    My mother in law is the world’s worst. Once we went on holiday with Wendy’s parents and her mum took so long to get ready that everywhere was shut by the time we left the house…

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