Oh bother.

March 23, 2007 at 4:07 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Today marks my 1 monthiversary of being unemployed. *does sarcastic job-less dance around the house*. I’m pretty fed up with it all. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m tired of getting to sleep in late. So please hire me.

I’ve submitted thousands of resumés and cover letters to companies via Careerbuilder and Monster.com. I’ve gotten no responses. Zero. Zilch. A big capital F’in Nada. What I have received unwillingly are hundreds of those spam emails from people pretending to be huge millionaires and could I please send over all of my personal information and a pair of my underwear so that I, too, can become rich like they are.

Some of them just want to date me. Some of them want to “Increase [my] penis size 93”. Most claim that they’d like for me to be rich. Me too, people, me too.

Here’s a good one:

I am zhanna. I am from Moscow, Russia.
I am dreaming to find my real man. Maybe this is you? What do you think
about it? Please, send me a reply here

Today I put on a business suit and drove around the neighboring towns looking for work. I found nothing I was interested in, so I went to CVS and bought a newspaper. At least the cashier at CVS thought I looked professional–I have good posture while dressed to be someone’s office bitch.

And so I came home and changed into jeans. I found one of my fish belly up, discovered no new employers in my inbox bidding for me to work for them, and realized that I hate everything about job searching. So I got my hair cut.

Tonight we are going out, something we haven’t done in a long long time.

Your cheer and job offers in comments.


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  1. hang in there ~ soon you will be flooded with job offers ’cause the bureaucracy of hiring and resume looking elves in human resource offices are sllllooooowwwww …

    it will happen and it will be fabulous … am sorry sorry to hear about your fish … hugs!

  2. My husband was out of work for three months last year and it is really hard. Don’t give up. You will soon find a great job that you love.

  3. I feel your pain, I’ve been there as you know. And why don’t you ever jump on IM and chat if you are so bored?

    Keep looking someone will contact you soon. Probably someone you know and not from any of the resumes.

  4. Im so sorry about your fish. 😦 and your joblessness, is that a word?

    Something will come.

    Thank you for enjoying my smells post today.
    It really brought me back this morning.

  5. Sending good wishes to you – things will be fine. Enjoy your time off and know that something is out there and will find you soon.

  6. Tuesday will mark four weeks for me and I know exactly what you mean. Of course, for me it’s different, with the severance pay and stuff, but it’s still remarkable how boring free time and unlimited opportunities can be. Blogging, surfing the internet, photography, painting, gardening – these used to be things I would do to unwind from my daily life. Now they ARE my daily life.

    Let’s put our heads together and start a new country up. Your father’s father’s father tried, erased the parts he didn’t like.

    (Sorry. That started out as “Let’s put our heads together and start a business up.” “Cuyahoga” just kinda slipped out.)

  7. It sounds like there’s a market for ad writers for penis enlargement and russian brides. Maybe you could put your english skills to work for them?
    Good luck with the search. The right job is out there and you’ll find it. Or better yet, it will find you.

  8. Sending encouragement your way. If it makes you feel better, I may be “employed” after quitting my job four weeks ago, I still haven’t gotten paid. Some system glitch or something. But I’m still working for the client, hoping for a check one day.

    What are your skills? I write a mean resume…email yours to me and I’ll help you that way.

  9. It will all work out in the end. I could always hire you to come and entertain me during my commute to and from work, but the commute to my commute from the other side of the world would kill you 🙂

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