Oh bother.

March 23, 2007 at 4:07 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 9 Comments

Today marks my 1 monthiversary of being unemployed. *does sarcastic job-less dance around the house*. I’m pretty fed up with it all. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m tired of getting to sleep in late. So please hire me.

I’ve submitted thousands of resum├ęs and cover letters to companies via Careerbuilder and Monster.com. I’ve gotten no responses. Zero. Zilch. A big capital F’in Nada. What I have received unwillingly are hundreds of those spam emails from people pretending to be huge millionaires and could I please send over all of my personal information and a pair of my underwear so that I, too, can become rich like they are.

Some of them just want to date me. Some of them want to “Increase [my] penis size 93”. Most claim that they’d like for me to be rich. Me too, people, me too.

Here’s a good one:

I am zhanna. I am from Moscow, Russia.
I am dreaming to find my real man. Maybe this is you? What do you think
about it? Please, send me a reply here

Today I put on a business suit and drove around the neighboring towns looking for work. I found nothing I was interested in, so I went to CVS and bought a newspaper. At least the cashier at CVS thought I looked professional–I have good posture while dressed to be someone’s office bitch.

And so I came home and changed into jeans. I found one of my fish belly up, discovered no new employers in my inbox bidding for me to work for them, and realized that I hate everything about job searching. So I got my hair cut.

Tonight we are going out, something we haven’t done in a long long time.

Your cheer and job offers in comments.

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