My persuit of happiness

February 6, 2007 at 9:24 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 16 Comments

Sometimes during the workday I find myself not breathing. Forgetting to breathe. I concentrate so hard that I neglect to allow my body to function; I rarely eat, I stay cold, I carry more than I can handle. And for what? Maybe I think that if I put my all into what I am doing, my day will not seem as long and I can get home to my love.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Thinking about what really makes me happy. Sean and I are starting to plan a future, talking about moving and buying a home, talking about marriage, naming our future babies. And the possibilities seem to be endless for us in the days to come.

I find myself driving past houses with blue signs that name them: For Sale. Like a child surrounded by toys for sale, I say to myself, I want that one, the with the white wraparound porch. Or maybe I want the one with the huge backyard. Or the one surrounded by birches.

But I know what I really want for our future. Sure, all of those houses are nice to have, but having big houses means working a lot to support them. And the thing I want most in this world is Sean by my side, always.

We could live in a hotel room and we would be happy. Because when he is around me, I don’t forget to inhale. In fact, when I’m with my love all I can do is breathe.

(to the all of you who emailed me: I am thrilled to be able to talk one on one with many of you for the first time. My inbox is overflowing and I promise to answer each and every one of your emails as soon as possible.)

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